Embarkation

So the second semester of my B.Arch started today…and from the looks of it its going to be more packed than the last semester.

Last semester’s exam results came out. the semester I felt that there was a real possibility that I’d fail every single subject. It’s always worst right before the exams. But after sitting for them, they didn’t seem that bad. And Alhamdulillah, berkat doa atok, kawan2, parents, I managed to pass with quite good marks.

This sem though, honestly, I’m scared.

I messed up a lot of things last semester. I screwed things up. I was so busy it seemed like I didn’t have time to manage my own life and my relationships with people around me. I’m scared that this sem will be the same, or worse.

It’s the end of day 1 and already I have 2 assignments, have to think of a topical studies area, thesis, synopsis, Kyoto protocol, add, drop, move in, research on high-rise, polish up holiday assignment.

Yesterday I was feeling very down. I really didn’t want to go back to school. but towards the end of the day, I slowly tried getting myself mentally prepared. I ended up thinking, this sem is going to suck real bad. but I’m going to try my best anyway and I’m going to be great!

By the end of today, that flame has all but died off.

Oh Allah, give us strength to face your challenges
Wisdom and courage to make the right choices
Patience for when times get tough
And focus when our minds wander

Today…

…kind of sucked. I was planning on studying at least as much as I did yesterday, keep the momentum and all. But I guess yesterday I went all out and today it’s like I was burned out so I couldn’t even look at my notes. Didn’t help that in the morning I realized that something was wrong with my email, that I was apparently spamming people and myself. its weird, all these old messages I sent to people were re-sent and also sent back to me(or so it seemed) I got freaked out and the only thing I could think of was changing my password, which didn’t help. So I went and deleted ALL my emails, from like 3 years ago, ones which I have kept, archived, and starred. All, gone. I hope that does the trick but I’m still not sure. So far it seems fine, I mean, there’s nothing for that virus/hacker to resend, is there?

Never thought that this would happen to me, but it just goes to show it can happen to anyone. So I went on this mission to de-register myself from sites which I registered but don’t use/need. And one of them was this site called perfspot which I don’t even remember registering for. It’s some sort of networking site. Idiotically, I spent 20 minutes exploring the site looking for a “delete my account” link or button but there was none. There was no help page either. Only later when I clicked on suggestions was there a link to the help forum. I went there, and I found that many people had the same problem. They wanted to delete their accounts but didn’t know how. And the admin never replied to these threads either. Google came to the rescue again, though, this time through yahoo answers. Apparently the only way to delete the account is to email them asking them to delete it for you, and giving your reasons. To me, that’s enough of a reason to go ahead and terminate.

Praying that this problem will go away and never come back, and that my exams go well. No, not just well, excellently 🙂

oh, and please read my previous post, just in case. so far the subject of the spam is DEAR FRIEND, so delete that if you got it from me.

Detour…

Supposed to be studying but….episode 6 of heroes beckoned. oh well.

Anyone else thinks its really funny/weird that in the airport scenes there are like a ton of token minorities in the background? If you haven’t seen it, you’ll know what I mean when you do.

—-

My brother was a meanie to my other brother just now. He was upstairs while my other brother was downstairs.Upstairs brother pretended like there was an intruder/attacker. Made strangled noises and all other odd noises and shouted to downstairs brother to run away. Downstairs brother believed him (that there was an attacker), and was really worried. crept up the stairs with the biggest kitchen knife after calling upstairs brother over and over (who didn’t reply). Upstairs brother burst out laughing, the kind of point-at-you and laugh your butt off hyena laugh. me and downstairs brother didn’t find it funny at all. now upstairs brother if apologizing non-stop. downstairs brother, as is per normal, says nothing.

its mean to play on someone’s emotions like that, and its not something to joke around with, that situation, if it were to occur.

its comforting to know downstairs brother wouldn’t run away but try and save you if anything happened.

—-

despite exams, will be hopefully going out for dinner soon, with friends.

Exploration and Discovery

I think in my previous entry I mentioned how I was done with my exams. Today however, my Intro to Built Environment class had an assignment to do, Urban Trail, which brought us to Petaling Street and Jalan Masjid India. It was my first time in Petaling Street, much to the surprise of our senior who was acting as our guide.

Let’s just say the day was full of discoveries, not necessarily related to the assignment itself. Actually, not related to the assignment at all. This much I’ll say, innocence can be deceiving – and I should know. On the flipside, you can’t judge a person on certain actions that they do, however disgusting those actions are. Somewhere, sometime, that person is better than you. Another piece of reflection – someone’s good image can go out in smoke in a matter of seconds, just the same amount of time it takes for impressions to be dashed. Also, some people are quite contradictory, even within themselves. Chivalry vs. destruction and disregard, for example.

Ok. Enough for now.

Chinatown

Bye Bye Birdie…

I had my last exam today, it was Land Surveying. I read through everything a zillion times, paying close attention to engineering and construction surveying and GPS. The first two parts of the paper were easy peasy, i finished it in less than 20 minutes.but then i turn the page and read question # 3, and all my hopes of an A start flying away….
doesn;t help that i think question 4 was faulty, but when i tried to ask sj he said it was right. ok then…
anyways i’m done with my exams,
but
i still have homework can you believe, even when the semester is over. which we’re gonna do on friday.
this is for a non-credited course. huh.

my parents came back from umrah today. my dad is flying off to sudan tonight. a waste of time i you ask me, flying from saudi to malaysia and back that way to sudan. but he needed to restock his clothes and get some stuff from his office..

so i edited my blog design…probably gonna be tweaked/revamped again sometime soon. have the ideas, but not the time/patience and/or skills!

The should be’s of life…

I should be cleaning up my room, and the house.

Cats should be allowed in our household. Then I won’t have to spend hours staring out the window at my neighbor’s cute cats.

People who play computer games loudly while other people are trying to study should be more considerate.

My sister should be cooking more than just fried fish. And she should cook more. She’s not doing her fair share of chores.

The Land Surveying Notes should be online, but not all of them are. My exam is on Wednesday.

I should be studying and not editing my blog layout.

Has the holiday started yet?

assuming i have finished writing all my exams, which i have, then yes, they have started. but i have so many things to do.

1. clean room – half done today
2. clean hostel room – half done yesterday
3. prepare ala’s surprise video thingy
4. arrange our studio for accreditation (? what if some people dah balik kampung?)
5. buy gifts for two special people
6. buy munchies for port dickson
7. pay ilham gas money for port dickson
8. basically get stuff ready for our port dickson trip aka ala’s surprise kinda bachelorette party
9. heapful of laundry to fold
10. go to my driving class

among other things. haven’t been out in ages, and lately i’ve been getting really massive headaches that are triggered by anything a bit too strong for my senses, like day before yesterday the sun was shining in the morning and my head pounded the whole day. then some bad smells leaked out from the kampung drains and i was spinning for two days. ugh. hope its not anything seriously wrong with my brain – i have hypochondria so i think the worst things are happening to me whenever something is wrong (all the better to be prepared right?) but its better not to say what i think…

2 down, 2 more to go……

Ahhh….exam time. don’t you just love the feeling? luxuriating in piles of papers and stacks of books, which caress your fingers ever so gently..Paper cut you say? Why, never! they wouldn’t dream of such a thing! the poor dears…all they want is for us to SUFFER!!!!!!!!
ah yes. I.HATE.EXAMS.
its not just the never ending studying, the guilty 4 hour breaks after each half an hour of perusing over scribbles which were conjured up in place of actual notes. its the whole experience. the not-knowing-where-you-stand. WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM ME???!!!???sheeeeesh…and they doesn’t only mean lecturers, mind you. its also the people who take your test paper out of the box without so much as a whisper, resulting in a whole day totally wasted since you weren’t planning on setting foot in UIA, but had to come and get your test which was conviniently MISSING. Then they try to water down their guilt by ‘oh, you got so good on your test, terernye, highest mark! alah, exam mesti dapat ‘A’ punyelah, tak yah tengok test pun takpe…’
yeah right.
and then the actual exams.
as luck would have it, for my first exam i was sitting near the front, (which meant i couldn’t look around which i do when i’m thinking) next to someone who had disgustingly bad breath, giving me a terrible headache and thus i couldnt think and so i might just fail.
and in my second exam, i was at the back, which was good, but that meant i was also near the bathrooms and those bathroom doors are super noisy! plus there was a curious stench of dead cat lurking nearby. and for this second paper we didn’t have enough time! my last question was al wonky, my graph was just a scribble. but it was the same for everyone, so at least thats ok.
now the last two papers. i should be studying, i know, but i’m so tired and hungry. and thats why i’m wasting my time blogging in the itd lab.

sigh

ok

fine

ciao