Intruder

Shadowy bodies moving slowly,

shuffling to find their place in the cold gloomy room

And suddenly walking through the door,

an intruder

sitting by my side;

Quiet, serious, a gleam of sad determination in his eye

I try to gauge me feelings

I am not annoyed, as I would have been with another

Nor does nervous curiosity make my heart beat ever slightly faster

I settle upon Wary,

but I can taste the words on my tongue

a memory of ebbing and flowing repartee

There was a time where I had resigned to my fate

had it come to that,

I should have been so lucky, yet

your presence reminds me of all my mistakes

my indifference, my stubbornness, my ugly

I know you’re here to change my mind and

For a fraction of a second

thoughts ricochet into a array of possibilities

of familiarity and ease

and absurdly, you lacing up your blue shoes

But I stand, disoriented yet resolute

the confusion clears, and the illusion collapses

and the intruder fades back to the trench in my mind

waiting to be roused again from the shadows