Family/Friends

My sister getting married last September made me realize that I was always part of a Force, it was always me and my sis, the Hamzah sisters, part of the Hamzah Family. Of course her getting married kind of changed that and now I'm just lonely me.In our school, a lot of our friends were those kinds as well, a Family Force. There were the Khatibs, the Preeces, the Joneses, the Radwans, the Soualhis, the Sanos, the Ismaiels, the Manafs, the Khans, the Abullais', the Shafiqs, the Tauseefs, the Ashours, the Elkhaldis, the Ghassans, etc.And now we're a ...

Goodnight I said to you goodnightDream of all the impossibleAnd you wake you seeThat all these dreams aren't fakeThere realNot impossibleBelieve you'll be alrightSad things you keep insideSo go tell me whats its likeTell me what you like apart when you dream

Food – A love/hate relationship

If you know me personally you know I'm what some would call 'skinny'. I'm around 5'2" with a slight frame and I currently weigh 43 kg. I am definitely underweight and I know it. Not that I like being so light and wispy. A few months ago I'd been going on a steady 45kg, I was at that weight for more than 5 years with very little ups and downs. The heaviest I've ever ever been was 47kg in my third year, when we went for heritage studies.It's not like I don't try to gain weight, I really have tried. but the pounds don't seem to stick. A few months a ...

Beginning of the end

*brushes aside cobwebs and dust*I suddenly feel like blogging again. I probably won't but it's just a feeling. It's the final stretch of my Final Semester of my Final year in B. Arch, 3 more weeks till I have to submit my design thesis. I'm nowhere near done and I don't know if I will be come the 16th of May. In all honesty I should be working on it now but today has not been a good day.I woke up late because last night I was up till quite late, trying to get a chapter written, and then my friend pinged me on gtalk and we talked about River and t ...

My big Australian adventure

Its been more than a while since i last wrote in this dusty old blog, but this was worth breaking my silent spell for. Australia was the absolute best. I want to move there.

Heart/beat

Every heart beat sends a million knives through my veinsEvery thought sends a sharp stab through my heartEvery vision releases a waterfall of tearsEvery wordEveryBeautifulWordKills mewords_by_retrodiva3

Embarkation

So the second semester of my B.Arch started today...and from the looks of it its going to be more packed than the last semester.Last semester's exam results came out. the semester I felt that there was a real possibility that I'd fail every single subject. It's always worst right before the exams. But after sitting for them, they didn't seem that bad. And Alhamdulillah, berkat doa atok, kawan2, parents, I managed to pass with quite good marks.This sem though, honestly, I'm scared.I messed up a lot of things last semester. I screwed things up. I w ...

Reflections, Pt 3

This Old Routine - First Aid KitGo placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.Enjoy your achievements as well as you ...

Finding Peace

I was listening to the radio one day during a rather funny incident (a story for another time) and they were interviewing Nora. She was talking about her...transformation? and journey to becoming a better Muslim. And something she said struck me. It was something like,"Orang selalu fikir, kalau ber-hijab susah nak cari makan sebagai artis etc2, tapi kita kena ingat, rezeki tu bukan datang dari manusia. Rezeki tu dari Allah. Dan kalau rezeki tu Allah dah tentukan kita yang punya, tak kisah lah jauh mana pun rezeki tu, akan sampai jugak kat kita. ...

Bisous

Got a message this morning from Lily who I met in 2010 while she was on holiday in Malaysia. She is a lively Parisian who has been travelling all around the world on her own, making friends along the way. We don't talk often at all, but every so often she would drop me messages and they are really the sweetest things. She sent me a postcard once, out of the blue, from when she was in Bali. and every 'Eid, new year (Islamic and Gregorian) she would email me wishing me and my family all the best and hoping that our paths will cross again. ...

Holiday to do list

Ok I'm procrastinating again. My exams are not over yet but I already have a list of thing I want to/have to do this holiday :D I have a month. I'm sure i'm being over ambitious, but here it is, in no particular order:Sew something! because i'm a total absolute noob, probably something simple. like a handkerchief. haha. ok maybe a pouch/purse thing.Continue to work on my knitting/crocheting - even out the stitches, edges, and make something instead of just incomplete pocket squares which turn out looking like triangles.Write more - here ...

Twenty Twelve

I had planned to write a recap of 2011, I already took down notes for January and February, and a little bit of march. But in the flurry of busyness surrounding the last few months at my job and the nonstop busy during my semester, it didn’t get done. You can read the half baked blog post at my scraps blog for posts that didn't make it, here.Also, not that I was any good before, but my writing skills seem to have dwindled down significantly. Probably because of lack of practice. Maybe I should work backwards, start with where I am now. The new y ...

Reflections Pt2

Its already the second half of the year! Eep! Ramadhan is coming in a month and i really want to make the most out of it this time. I felt like last ramadhan i let a lot of opportunities slip by and even tho part of it was me being busy with work, it was also just me not trying hard enough. I dont want to do that again. Which is why i'm considering quitting my job. I already know i want to stop this year, its just a mette rof when. if i get accepted into any of the local universities (Insah'Alllah), then i will start my semester in September. And ...

The mysterious land of tears

written on the 25th of June 2011Yesterday night i watched Pheobe in wonderland, thinking it was going to be a happy and whimsical movie. It wasnt. not to say it wasn't good, but i cried a lot watching it. A lot of emotion in that one, or stuff that i could somehow relate to. There was a scene where Pheobe's mother goes on this outburst. i didnt cry at that part but it was startling how much i could relate to her. not what she was saying, because a lot of it was about motherhood, but how she was feeling. because she'd feel something and that would ...

Reflections pt1

Once in high school my classmate accidentally swallowed a pin, jarum peniti, while she was fixing her scarf. she was brought to the clinic and the news traveled trough our school. It was a very small school mind you, every grade only had one class and in each class was less than 20 students. so everyone knew everyone, and our whole class was abuzz with this news. when she came back from the clinic and i bumped into her coming up the stairs, i asked her what happened and if everything was okay now. and maybe she was tired or something but she answ ...

Promise you’ll be careful with my heart

It's the little thingsThey pulled me in and I'm defencelessI try to ignore like I've done before but it's just uselessI've made up my mind that I'm gonna let you inAnd I'm not afraid but I have to sayThis is gonna hurt if it ever endsBut somehow you out shattered my defenceThis is gonna hurt if it ever startsSo promise you'll be careful with my heartIt's the things you doThey made me fall hard for you and I can't help itAnd it's every day that I feel this waySo just don't stop itI've made up my mind that I'm gonna let you inAnd I'm not afraid but ...

National Poetry Month

Last month April was National Poetry month in certain parts of the world and us kata.mata peeps decided to give it a go. The aim was to write one piece per day at least. I tried my bestest and came up just short at 23/30, which is alright I guess? Not that they are any good, but some of them I really liked. Here is a link to all my April poetry, and below are some of the ones I liked best. Enjoy!---16/04/2011“The Everywhere House” by Maryam HThe everywhere housesits on anywhere streetfilled with everyday mendoing any day feats---02/04/2011“I don’ ...

Zombie and Architecture Superhero dreams

Okay this is going to be a short and possibly weird post about two dreams I had, one yesterday and one the day before. Let’s start with the zombie dream.(Please note that, according to my mom, my dreams never make any sense, or have any point. let’s begin)The scene unfolds where there are 2 people in a dark room, on a dark night. A Man and a woman. They are arguing, but not violently. The woman asks the man about an ex he used to have, and some issues she had with her. The man has his back to her, and is putting away folded laundry into the dress ...

My rant against the world

//be forewarned. This is a rant//I feel like a kid who, after being told to be a good boy or else Santa won't be dropping by this year, finds out that not only was he not good enough, but that HAHA Santa isn’t real. We are told that if we work hard, strive to do our best and be the top among the rest, that there will be some sort of reward at the end of it. That we will get what we want, because we tried and worked so hard for it. And being stupid and naive we believe this. Putting in all our efforts into trying to be the best because we want tha ...