The plans we make

Just came back from visiting Ala’ in her new house, very cute and clean. On the way back I had a lot to think about. One of them was where do I see myself in 5 years. It’s a common question in job interviews, and for someone like me, probably one of the hardest, right after “tell me about yourself”.

This year I’ll be 23, even though i just turned 22. That’s old…and in 5 years, I’ll be 28. Where do I see myself? Job wise, I suppose I see myself working, I don’t know as what yet, but enjoying my work and earning enough to provide for myself and my family to live comfortably. That’s the second part of my very vague 5 year plan. Personally, I see myself happily married, with a loving family. The person I am married to is my best friend, the one I want to share things with. The one who understand me, understands that I don’t understand myself a lot of times. I am still very close to my school friends, and we maintain a special relationship that not many people can wrap their heads around. In 5 years time I have managed to figure most of myself out, sort out my tangled head and figure out what I want. I am a better person, and successful in my work and personal life. More confident and wiser. Standing up for what I believe in. Taking a stand when it matters.

Well. That’s the goal anyways. Need to work on the action plan.

It was really good catching up with my friends, it really has been too long since we last had a decent chat. Too few and far between. Its quite scary how we all seem to be on the brink of something. Ala’s Married. Ilham is attending interviews for her chambering. Me, Iman, Aziza, Hiba, we’re all graduating soon. Ayesha is wrapping up her master’s thesis. We’re all nervous about the next step. Where do we go from here? Where will be go? What will we do? Most of us have a comfort zone – that being UIA. We’ve lived here most our lives. Our fathers are lecturers here, our mothers are never far. Our environment has been largely a protected one. It would be so easy to just stay, stay in this familiar environment. But I can speak for most of us and especially myself when I say that I do need a change of environment. A different kind of challenge. And yet, I feel like I’m not done with UIA just yet. There are many opportunities here that I failed to take. Opportunities that were so easy here I overlooked them ones that would be very hard to find elsewhere, I think. Things that I could learn here, people I could have met, events I could have participated in. space for me to grow. Staying in your comfort zone for too long without any extraordinary challenge will be dull, and you’ll lose your edge. But then, change, it’s hard. Starting fresh new in a new environment, there’s only so much you can do to prepare yourself for that. And you have to learn quick, catch up to what’s going on, be on your toes. You’ll want to rely on the comfort of friends, but then you have to realize that sometimes you have to do things on your own to learn. Support is necessary but so is independence.

“We all can plan but God is the best of planners. So for all my above plans, I say inshaAllah…”

This has been a self-reflective post by the messed up MH.

I wish the world will truly see me, for what I truly am.

For the days we feel as vague as faded memories.

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