My previous post wasn’t entirely accurate. Some things just can’t be put into words, or at least, I don’t know how. And I realized that happiness is much harder to describe than sadness! I want to wax lyrical about something but it would never be enough, never perfectly capture what I’m feeling. And that’s why this blog has been relatively barren, except for the odd poetry here n there.
That’s another thing. When structured words and paragraphs won’t do, I resort to abstracting my emotions through a jumble of amateur verses. Because in poetry, the meaning of what I’m saying is not finite, you can understand it the million subtle ways I intend you to, or make up your own mind. It gives quantifiable words to what I’m feeling without limiting their scope of inclusion. but at the same time, I’m not sure how long the happiness will last, because its not guaranteed that the happiness is really yours to keep, and because after a high you can only fall down low right? And now I am rambling again.
The holidays are fast coming to a close and the new daunting semester awaits. So lets do a quick recap on last sem and the holidays, shall we?
Things that made me happy
– making new friends – inside and outside campus
– traveling, near and far, road trips, visits, and car rides in general 🙂
– finding my voice 😀
– Nature – water, land, and most of all, the sky and its beautiful alluring contents
– Discovering connections and similarities, accepting differences
– Outings, outings and more outings with friends, friends and more friends
– Increased confidence and social-ness (that isnt a word, is it?)
– Music, everywhere
Things that weren’t so happy
– workload = stress
– the absurd number of sleepless nights
– my grades
– my increased dependence on others for so many things, emotional, spiritual, mental, financial, educational, you name it.
– losing touch with some of my old friends
– my lowered standards especially in academics. Hate myself for that
– less time spent at home
– the things in me I still haven’t changed