Last night aka this morning while I was doing my work my eyes decided to take a short trip back to the 60’s. I started seeing psychedelic, colorful spots, swirls, and lights. Far out. Turned off my study lamp for a while hoping it would go away. It seemed as though I was looking through a kaleidoscope and no amount of blinking would make it disappear. I guess that is what happens when you’ve spent the whole week looking at lineslineslineslines.
As I remember it, I had iftar and went straight back to work. And when sahur time came, it was very weird, because it seemed as though I just ate, when actually, it was yesterday. Not sleeping really messes you up. My brain was not functioning at all today, if you can’t already tell by this jumbled up post.
after sahur I prayed and told my sister to wake me up in 15 minutes because I wanted to take a short nap on the floor (so I wouldn’t make myself too comfortable, but anyways I’ve been sleeping on the couch for the past week since my bed is full of papers) I woke up and saw that it was already 7.30.
Rush rush rush
Head was pounding but had to stay awake in the car since I was trying to think of what to say in my presentation. Like I said, my brain was on leave so nothing came to me.
Also felt strangely nauseous today. Maybe it was nerves. Was afraid I might throw up on my project, which would have been funny but devastating at the same time. It felt like motion sickness, I guess because I spent so long in one position that even walking made me feel dizzy. Not that there was much to upchuck anyways. Whatever energy I might have gotten from a banana and half a slice of pizza I wasted crying for no reason. Just suddenly felt so overwhelmed and sick and tired and frustrated and pitiful. Mentally unstable, like I said, my brain vacated me.
Anyway, presentation went good, thanks to Ilda who helped me figure out what I was going to say.
Died in the musolla afterwards, and woke up at 6-ish to even worse headaches and nausea.
Feeling a bit better now, but still…weird.
While doing my work I was thinking of all the weird ways an architecture student could die.
Morbid but kept me entertained. one of the ways was inhaling too much UHU glue fumes, and another was getting so many paper cuts and then subsequently falling asleep in the bath/shower so that you s l o w l y bled to death.
I felt very sad. first of the last 10 days of Ramadan and I’m up all night, not praying or making du’aa but drawing lines, cutting boards, measuring, erasing.
Time to get back on human time. Time to get back on track. Time to recover.